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The Story of a Tormented Fraud of a Girl, who Transformed like a Phoenix, into Her Divine Purpose..

Updated: Oct 8, 2019

The Story of a tormented fraud of a Girl, who Transformed like a Phoenix, into Her Divine Purpose.. a Warrior on a Mission <3


My "Soul" Mission is to help you and show you how to find your Divine Purpose in life when you may be ready to give up.  Or, when you are truly ready for something greater and something more than you may be settling for now.  

I am no stranger to years and a childhood of severe torment, abuse, and trauma.  Having to leave home and couch hop my way through high school at the age of 15.  Having and becoming a single mother of an amazing daughter at the age of 18.  I am familiar with abandonment, harassment, repeating the same abusive cycles with partners or events over and over.  Having to fight and claw my way up in male dominated and abusive industries.  I am familiar with the deep dark hole, and thoughts of whether or not I should even continue.  And I am familiar with the inability to find my voice or shout my thoughts, and being scared, insecure, alone and feeling like I was a wilting flower.   If there was a challenge, or shattering event that one could endure, life has thrown me more than I care to admit.  And then, one day.. I learned how to rise above it all, and I am here, by the grace of divine intervention and a 2nd chance of life.. to tell my story, and to take your hand, and show you how you can do it too.   There is nothing you are facing right now, there is nothing in your past that is holding you prisoner, and there is nothing that you aren’t truly capable of that you cannot achieve when you are ready, if you know how.  

I was a fraud.  Why?  Because I became someone to appease and please everyone else.  I hid myself.  I became someone that I was not, and I lived my life this way.  I was lying to myself, and I was lying to everyone around me.  I had lost sight of who I truly was, and I was portraying myself as I believed I was expected to.  I did this my entire life.  I know I was born into this world as myself, and I know in my earliest years as a babe, I only knew my truth.  But, as time pressed on, I began to build walls and barriers to protect myself from pain and through fear.  As my walls grew thicker, my light grew dimmer.  Until eventually, I was just surviving.  Until eventually, I lived for others.  Until eventually, I had become a fraud living under a veil of lies and survival only.  I had stopped living my truth.  I had stopped living for and loving myself.  I was a fraud. 

I am going to share with you my story, of what happened to me, that transformed me. How I went  from being told I had maybe 24 hours to live, and arriving on what was to be my last… to finding my Divine Purpose, and beginning for the first time in 40 years… to truly LIVE, and become who I am meant to be.  Last sept (2017) I went through crazy life events all in one month.  Separation/Divorce, having to pack sell and move my first home in just days, having to close up and pack up my insurance agency in 6 days and I became an empty nester.  You know.. nothing big.  Yea right.   Then, with literally zero life left in me Hawaii gave me a sign... and I answered her.  I booked a flight, no plan no direction just to try and re-find myself.  I had completely lost my identity, and spirit.  The first few days were magical and the law of attraction was ever present. Just days into my journey,  I began having unexplained severe pain.  I chalked it off to what I had just put myself through in the weeks before. 

So I pushed through several more days.  On oct 9 the pain became unbearable and I literally felt I was dying.  So I made up my mind to go to the front desk to have them call me an ambulance.   It was at that time my phone blew up from neighbors trying to find my parents, my grandmother, and my daughter as the fires had started in Sonoma County,  and they could see flames behind them and their cars still in the driveway. 

Long story short, I think pure Adrenalin was coursing through my veins. I stayed up all night trying to communicate and locate them.  Finally, I got word they were safe and I tried to go about my day as best I could not really knowing.  That night on Oct 10th I collapsed and was rushed screaming in agony to the ER.  

They knocked me out, the last thing I remember hearing is there is no way she should be alive, she’s been a dead woman walking.  

When I came to, the doctor informed me that I may only have 24 hours to live and he had located my mom, in the midst of evacuation, to tell her and my daughter to be on standby to catch a flight.  This is when my transformation began.  

I had suffered a bi-lateral pulmonary embolism.  My lungs and around my heart had filled with blood clots. Longer story shorter.  I looked back on my life, alone in a hospital thinking I was going to die. The pain of realizing I had never chosen myself, lived my truth or potential, or shown my daughter how to do the same, was life shattering pain.   At that moment,  I decided I was not "going out like that." I was not going to leave my daughter, and I refused to leave this Earth having lived in, a settled for life.

   It was a hard few days, but thanks to the miracle of my apparently strong heart, and low resting heart rate, and by a miraculous and divine intervention, I am here. I couldn’t leave the island for a month. During that time, is when I learned how to discover my purpose, why I am here and how to start becoming the person I was born to be.  The series of events, people, and awakening that has followed, is truly magic.  And I want to share my magic and my love for you… as you are… and with who you are… and lift you back up to become the truly amazing person that I can see.  My mission is to show others how to do the same before it is too late. If I can prevent even one person from arriving on their last day on Earth and looking back and experiencing the pain I knew, I would be willing to move mountains for you.  You are worth more than you know.  Your story is one that can help others rise.  Your true strengths are within you, just waiting to be released.   You were born into this world with a purpose, and with uninhibited truth.  You too, can learn to rise again just like a Phoenix.  You are meant for so much more.  Choose you.  Love you.  It's time to let the true you rise again.  xoxo

© 2019 by Jen Crowe, GrowWithCrowe, LLC. Branding by Bianca Broos

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